I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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