On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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