im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
