He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize