Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
