your parents love me but you hate me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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