i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
