Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize