Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
how can u be prego again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
