I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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