I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This is my gift to your gina
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
