Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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