Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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