So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
