Having a random hookup so left but love u
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize