Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
