she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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