Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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