fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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