At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
