Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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