We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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