If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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