Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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