party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
