Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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