I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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