So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
