just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
