I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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