I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
