Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
No offense, but I donβt think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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