Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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