I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
