Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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