I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
