She's JV to your varsity
i just google imaged poop.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
