Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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