Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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