I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
