he shaved USA in his pubs
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
