Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
