The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
