just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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