remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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