10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
