Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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