So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
