At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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