my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
