we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
