you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
