I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
