Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
