I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
