If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
