Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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